


Why Can't I

by merrabeth



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: AU somewhat, Let's just pretend that the whole thing with Svetlana and Terry finding out never happened, M/M, We all try to anyways
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-08
Updated: 2014-03-09
Packaged: 2018-01-15 00:21:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1284241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merrabeth/pseuds/merrabeth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>10 years into the future, Mickey and Ian are working and living up north. Someone at Mickey's job comes out and he's pretty frickin pissed about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Why Can't I?

Ian heard the heavy footsteps before he heard the loud slam of the front door. Mickey was upset, Ian inferred, and thought it best to stay on the couch where he sat, the cover tangled in his legs.

“There’s some hot chocolate in the microwave.” Ian was quiet in his words, almost soothing.

Mickey sat his mug directly next to Ian’s before falling back on the couch right next to him.

“I’m guessin’ you had a bad day.” The only acknowledgment he got was a subtle raise of his eyebrows. “Wanna talk about it?” With that he got an even less subtle middle finger. “Ok, then.”

It’s been ten years. Ian knew how to work a pissed off Mickey. He knew to just sit back and wait for the older man to want to blurt out how he felt at the moment. Sometimes it would be a few minutes; sometimes it would be a few hours. It’d never gotten to a few days, thank God. Ian doesn’t think the curiosity would be restrained for that long.

Luckily, his curiosity only had to wait for a few minutes. “Brennan came out today.”

Ian almost asked, “Came out of what?” before he caught himself. It seriously wasn’t something he heard every day, of people “coming out”. And, the news wasn’t really that surprising. “Brennan, like, the guy that hits on you sometimes?” Ian clarified.

Mickey nodded, not yet looking to Ian. Mickey worked with the city as a truck driver for the Chicago Water Department. It wasn’t a job that required much but being able to maneuver around the city in a massive vehicle, and it paid pretty well. He had a crew of guys that he drove around, and though Brennan wasn’t a part of his crew, he’d make it almost like a hobby to make sure that he hung with his crew. Ian was the one that suggested, playfully, that maybe Brennan liked him. It wasn’t until a week later of not thinking about it that it was confirmed. It may have been his slow reactive gaydar, or maybe it was that Brennan had tried a little bit more to flirt with him, but Mickey finally noticed it. And he didn’t do much about it, not wanting to draw attention that he knew and he didn’t want to think about maybe Brennan knowing and getting some ideas.

Ian stared at Mickey once it had gotten silent. Maybe he should have realized why it was so upsetting, but honestly, Ian couldn’t see it.

Mickey glanced over. “ _So_  now he knows that I know. Nothing can stop him now.”

“Except, he doesn’t know you are.”

“I know our gaydar may be slow, but I’ve met people with fast reflexes, and who the fuck knows? Maybe Brennan’s one of those people.”

Ian turned fully to Mickey now, taking in his stature and his profile. The reason he heard wasn’t exactly bad, but it seemed a little too trivial for Mickey. It couldn’t be enough to make Mickey so angry. He cocked an eyebrow when Mickey looked to him. “Seriously?”

Whether Mickey wanted to admit it or not, the question spinning in his head that frustrated Mickey to the point of anger had nothing to do about Brennan’s attraction to Mickey. He was more upset with the fact that he came out. And the way he did it. All the truck drivers had the end of the weekly meeting with their Supervisor, Hazel. They all sat around in her office, nearing the end of their meeting. That’s when he’d gotten up, told everyone he had something to say. There stood this statue of masculinity, telling the guys he’d been working with for about 6 months now that he felt he should just put it out there; that it wasn’t that big of a deal, and he didn’t want to say it at first because of first assumption judgment. “I’m gay.” Two words that should have changed everything, and the only thing it changed in that moment was the time. The half second it took to utter the two words; that’s all that changed.

“How did everyone react?” Ian asked when he saw something change in the other man’s face.

He’d hit the jackpot. “They were fuckin’ okay with it! No questions, no awkward silences, nothing! No jokes, no comebacks. They were all so cool with it.”

“Well, I mean the guys you work with are pretty cool.” Ian could only assume this from what Mickey’s told of them. He barely went to Mickey’s job, only once or twice to have lunch, but even then, the guys didn’t hang around much.

Mickey shrugged. “Well, I mean yeah, they are. But I just- how come he gets to just say it and not have people judge?”

“Woah, have you tried to?” If he had, this was news to Ian.

“Well, no.” There was an air of confusion. Even  _he_  was starting to wonder why he was so upset. Mickey took Ian’s silence as an opportunity to get comfortable, kicking his boots off and lifting himself so he could lay the covers on top of him. He laid back before letting his body slide until his head leaned against Ian’s shoulder. Mick sighed once Ian had lifted his arm and wrapped it around his body, pulling Mickey closer.

“Mick, you could do it if you wanted to. No one’s stopping you and it sounds like no one would care.”

But there was someone stopping him: himself. Yeah, things were different. They’d moved up north, Mickey had a legal job and he kept in touch with his siblings and Ian’s family and things seemed wonderful. But it was what he grew up with. And though he was able to admit to himself and Ian and the whole Gallagher clan and Mandy that he was, in fact, gay, there was still that thought in the back of his head that kept him from telling anyone else.

The circumstances were this. Ian’s family was cool with them. Mandy was cool with them. But as far as he knew, no one else was cool with him because no one else knew, and he never tried. It was almost a cycle of not telling and not letting anyone know.

Mickey shrugged. “You know I don’t have a good record when it comes with words.”

Ian chuckled. “Yeah, that’s true.”

They’d gone silent, watching some show that seemed too relatable for words.

But Mickey could stop thinking about how he hadn’t told Ian everything. Yes, Brennan came out and everyone accepted that, but there was more to it.

Before the whole not so big moment of coming out happened, Hazel had invited them to have a party at her house with her husband on Sunday. And, for lack of better words, Brennan had asked him out.

Brennan had run up to Mickey after everyone had swiped out. Mickey was only a few feet from his car when he turned to see him. “Hey, are you gonna go to Hazel’s party?”

Mickey shrugged. Sure, he worked with the guys, but he wasn’t necessarily that close with everyone. “Well, I mean, free food, right?” he answered. “And Hazel’s a pretty decent cook. I’ve been over a few times for her work gatherings.”

“How are they, the parties?”

Mickey smirked. “Nothin’ like the ones my siblings used to throw. There’d be a lot more music and a lot more dancin’…and a  _lot_ alcohol.” But he guessed the work parties came with the territory of growing up.

“Well, maybe you could make it more fun if you tried. I think we should go.”

Mickey snapped his eyes up to meet Brennan’s green ones. He wasn’t sure what expression he was making, but he could hear the voice in his head saying over and over again,  _Are you fucking serious?_

The guy hadn’t come out 30 minutes ago and already he was asking him out? How fucking bold could two simple words make a person?

Well, he knew three words with a lot of impact.

“Well, I might go. I know whenever we have these things the other guys usually bring their ladies with ‘em…” he trailed off, not knowing exactly where he was going with that. “Maybe.”

“So, Hazel’s havin’ another party,” Mickey stated, not looking from the screen.

He felt Ian’s chest tremble as he laughed. “Have fun.”

“You wanna come?”

Mickey could feel the shoulder he was wrapped in shrug. “Sure. Why not.”

Mickey leaned up a bit to look at Ian straight. “No, Ian. Do you want to  _go_  with me?”

He saw the light reach Ian’s eyes. “You mean as your date? As your boyfriend?” Ian’s eyebrows shot up and his smile was wide, almost speechless. “Ok. Yeah. I would love to.”

He watched Mickey settle back into his side, reaching for his mug. He took a sip and groaned. “I should have told you it needed to be warmed up,” Ian mumbled with a smile as Mickey he got up to put the cold chocolate beverage in the microwave.


	2. Relax

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, Mickey's just made this massive decision and this kind of just goes with what he's thinking on Sunday before he does the do

They both enjoyed weekends like these because they were so rare. Neither had anything important to do. All the bills were paid, nothing had to be fixed; the fridge was stocked. They could relax and enjoy themselves.

But that gave Mickey the opportunity to think. And he noted that his thoughts were very Middle-School-Shy-Girlish. What would they think as soon as they saw Ian? He wasn’t exactly the type of guy that you would question as soon as you see him, but he wasn’t a guy that you’d necessarily be surprised at when you found out. Whether everyone else thought it was that big of a deal, it was a big deal to him. This is the same guy that beat up fags when he was younger, the same guy that had a sheet that had Hazel wide eyed and subtly suspicious. The same guy that held a look of danger, a glint of threat that sparked in his blue eyes; the same guy that clenched his tatted knuckles on occasion to keep his nerves down to a minimum. All of these things were not Brennan. Mickey was masculine overload in some ways- no, tough. Mickey was  _tough_. Always has been, always will. He was an acquired taste; the type of guy that you couldn’t imagine defending when outsiders would mention him. “He’s actually really cool,” an insider would say. “He’s also gay,” an insider of tonight would add. Because, for some reason, there wasn’t any aspect that would ever mistake him for gay. But now he wondered what their rationale would be.

Hazel would probably think he realized he was gay while he was in juvie. And the others? They knew about his criminal past, but they wouldn’t think so much of that. Mickey thinks there will be a lot of laughing; maybe some references to movies that display someone with characteristics like his- that’s always a twist that creators like to throw in. He suspects there to be a lot more questions-

Holy shit, the questions! What if they ask about positions? He’d be asking for it, practically handing them the right to taunt him. He can imagine Hazel asking how they met or how it happened.

Mickey stops himself. He shouldn’t care. If they got a problem or their noses are way too far into his business, he can punch square in it. But he needs this job- and sure he could transfer, but districts probably won’t take a liking to him getting into fights with other employers.

With every single thought that passes through, the weight of what he is going to do weigh heavier and heavier, pushing down on his stomach and quickening his pulse.

Ian picks up on it when he wakes on Sunday morning. It’s kind of hard to ignore that fast beating in his ear as he wakes to his face on Mickey’s chest. He groans and lifts his head to look up at Mickey. “Did you have a bad dream or something?” he asks. His words are coated in sleep and he’s not sure that it came out comprehendible. Mickey doesn’t answer, because this isn’t a dream; he hasn’t dreamt of the day where he’d come out to people he spends most of his day with. It’s all real and it’s all going to happen.

Some things never change. Some expressions never change. As Ian shakes out the drowsy feeling from his head and sits up to fully take in Mickey’s expression, he’s aware of it. Mickey’s lips are tight and he glares out of annoyance- annoyed with the fact that Gallagher knows he’s scared, mostly. He’s annoyed with how Ian tries to comfort him, because fuck, he doesn’t need comforting; he can handle things on his own.

“I used to get jittery, too, when I had presentations to give in school.” Ian’s voice his calm and low. He shrugs. “At first, I thought it was my body’s way of telling me how excited I was, and I would volunteer to go up and stuff. But as soon as I got up there, I realized my body was telling me how  _not_  ready I was. I’d get through it, though. But my heart would be so loud I swear everyone else would be able to hear it; kinda like your heart right now.” He ends with a breathy laugh, making note of every movement Mickey makes.

Mickey rolls his eyes. “Wow. I’m glad you can connect class presentations to coming out of a really deep closet.” His words were seeping with sarcasm and if he wasn’t so focused on trying to slow down his heart rate, he probably would have felt guilty for them, too. But he didn’t, and he continued. “I don’t need your help, alright? I’m the one that brought up the idea, so I can get myself through it.”

Ian smiles; some things never change. “I’m not sure if you remember the past, oh I don’t know, 10, 12,  _13_ years, but I think you should’ve caught on by now that some problems are best tackled with a little support behind you.” He scoots in closer, leaning his head towards Mickey’s neck, placing a gentle kiss behind his ear. “You just need to relax,” he whispered, cupping the other side of his neck to pull him closer.

Against his better judgment, Mickey feels a weight being lifted, if not temporarily. He bites the inside of his lip, trying to hide his quick change in mood. “You think sex is gonna help me rela…” his breath hitches as he leans into every brush of Ian’s lips creating a scorching trail up to his lips. He sighs once their lips finally, and he moves his hand to cup the wrist still holding him close. He leans forward as Ian tries to break away, his eyebrows furrowing when Ian is out of Mickey’s space. “I’ll be right back.” Ian springs from the bed and jogs over to the bathroom and turns on the water. Mickey’s phone rings with the notification of a text on the nightstand and leans over to read the sender when Ian demands, “Don’t touch it.” Mickey obeys with a laugh because he doesn’t want anything to ruin his mood right now, even if it’s from Mandy just saying “Hey, douche bag” or something like that.

********

“Question!” Ian calls from the bedroom when he hears the shower turn off behind the closed bathroom door. “Have you always made it a thing to be late, or is tonight a special occasion?” He winces and thinks of calling out to take back the last word because that’s not how he meant it to come out, but there’s nothing he could do about it now. He releases some tension when he hears Mickey laugh in the bathroom. “You were the one that suggested we not shower together!” Mickey replies.

“That’s because we wouldn’t be really washing up if we were in there together; getting dirty would just defeat the whole purpose.”

“No,” Mickey retorts while opening the door, he leans against the threshold and folds his arms. “It would be double action: washing while getting ‘dirty’.”

“Either way, this thing starts in an hour, and this is my first time; I wanna make a good impression.”

“And here, I thought this was about me,” Mickey mumbled, walking closer to Ian, who stood by their closet with only jeans on and looking through the selection of button downs they had. “And hey, you’re the one who started it: this morning, and a few minutes after that…and after breakfast.” He sighed at the recent memories. “I mean your goal was to have me relaxed and trust me when I say I’m completely  _open_ now.” He chuckled at Ian’s obvious eye roll that accompanied his head shake as he stayed focus on the shirts in front of him.

Ian pulled out a black and gray button down and moved towards the bed. “Don’t we have to bring champagne or something? Like a gift or something?” Ian turned to see Mickey moving to get dressed and smiled. He still couldn’t believe this was happening, despite trying to help Mickey get over his nerves. He wanted things to go right for Mickey. “Maybe we could bring some chips or something?”

“I’ll text her and ask if she wants us to bring her anything.” He buttoned and zipped up his pants before going over to where his phone still sat on the nightstand from this morning. He unlocked the screen and found that the message he’d forgot to check was from Hazel, so he read it. “The fuck?” he blurted out once he read its contents.

“What’s up?”

“She said the party’s not gonna be at her house; s’ gonna be at some place called ‘The Castle’ on Dearborn.”

“Oh yeah, I know where that is.” He took notice of Mickey’s raised eyebrows and the obvious question behind them. “A few the ladies at work have mentioned it; they’ve invited me to go with them a few times.”

Mickey kept his eyes on Ian with the same expression as he called Hazel:

_Hello? Mickey?_

“Yeah, hey, so the party’s at ‘The Castle’?”

_Mhm. Yes, sir. My husband had to work overtime tonight, so I made plans for us to have some_ actual  _fun._

“So…I guess bringin’ champagne would be kinda useless.”

_Yeah. I was kinda hopin’ you would respond so you could tell me if you planned on bringin’ anyone…_

Mickey rolled his eyes; Hazel always asked if Mickey would bring someone even with his history of not doing so. He wasn’t sure if he thought Hazel to be kind of idiotic or hopeful for Mickey. But he looked to Ian, who was busy fixing himself to look perfect even though he couldn’t possibly look any better. “Actually, I am bringin’ someone tonight.”

Really?! _Ok that’s great! Perfect, well I look forward to meeting whoever it is._

They exchanged their goodbyes and hung up. One step down, Mickey thought, about 9 billion more to go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if this part was boring. it's just that i got to 3 pages again and just..you know...plus it's 1 am and..and... I promise the next chapter will be more interesting


	3. The Castle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They finally made it to the Castle, and it turns out there was some truth to the body's mixed signals.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope it's a good enough ending...I'm a sap for happy endings.

“Not like I care or anything,” Mickey starts with a low voice, watching how their thighs touched with the close proximity of the seats on the train, “but, uh, how did you help yourself calm down when you were nervous?”  
“As cliché as it sounds, breathing helped. I mean, it either helps your heart rate go down or it just helps you throw up quicker. Either way, you’re getting everything out.”  
They were two stops away from their destination and Mickey couldn’t even understand what was going on with his insides. His heart was humming, or it was beating really slowly. His stomach was flipping incessantly, or it was as still as a brick. His skin was cold to the touch, yet he felt a dampness of his own sweat.  
“Hey,” Ian whispered. “You got this, Mick. These are all people you know. And if they do judge for some reason, just shake ‘em off. You guys aren’t that close.”  
When the doors slid open on Grand, Mickey surged up, feelings his legs move without his permission. They climbed the stairs up to the street and were met by a gust of cool wind. The night was filled lights from street cars passing by street lights and the buildings towering over.   
Ian pointed behind them to a building and Mickey laughed. “What a creative name,” he stated, taking in the castle structure at the end of the street. He took in the purple and blue lights that flashed up the building and the neon sign that said “Castle” on the corner. For lack of a better word, he was questioning. He wasn’t really into clubs in the first place. Maybe he could cancel last minute? He could text Hazel and say something came up? He had a headache, maybe. Well, he was starting to feel a pang at his temple.  
“C’mon, Mickey.” Ian stood close and let his fingertips slide down his arm until their fingers entwined. “I dare you to relax.”  
Mickey smirked despite his body’s mixed signals that were actually really freaking him out. This is what Gallagher was talking about: is he excited or is he walking into a chaotic shit ton of mess that he can’t handle? But he was dared, and, well, some things never change. So whether Mickey liked it or not, there was something more at stake, here.  
Ian dropped his hand once they were in front of the bouncer, who barely took his eyes off his clipboard. “Last name?” he asked.  
“Milkovich.”  
He glanced up then, he waving his fingers between the both of them. “You two on Hazel Wright’s guest list.” It was meant to be a question, but he just stamped their wrists and let them through. The nerves picked up instantly, almost painfully.  
The bass of whatever song could be felt through their bones, it was a feeling that Ian knew very well, but Mickey wasn’t very fond of it, especially with his heart’s current animalistic speed of state.  
Then there were the lights, always moving and flashing and flashing to the beat of the music. There were a lot of people, but not as much as there would be once it got later and things picked up. He knew they wouldn’t be staying long; they all had work tomorrow morning.  
He found Hazel quickly, surprisingly. Well, it was hard to ignore the woman with the mass of curly blond hair waving in his direction. “Mickey! Hey!” she greeted when Mickey had gotten to the table. She gave him a big hug and quickly moved away, remembering his statement the first time he went to her house that he wasn’t really into hugging and embracement. She looked to Ian and held out her hand. “Hi! Who’s this?”  
“Ian,” Mickey answered. “He’s my…friend.” Mickey tensed at his words. The word barely came out, like it was forced between his teeth. Hazel didn’t seem to notice, but that didn’t mean that Ian hadn’t.  
She shook his hand. “I’m Hazel, Mickey’s boss. He probably never mentions me since I can be a raging hardass sometimes.”  
Ian smiled naturally, and Mickey released his muscles. “Yeah, he’s mentioned you; all good, I promise.”  
Hazel beamed; that was one of the things he’s mentioned about her: she’s so perky. Some mornings that would be exactly what he didn’t want to deal with. “Well, c’mon, guys! Everyone else is here. Way to be fashionably late.”  
The rest of the guys were talking and conversing once they had sat down. They all greeted Mickey and Ian, not thinking much of the red head’s presence.   
Brennan noticed. He was talking to one of Mickey’s crew members, Adam, when they sat down. Mickey’s eyes darted to Adam, noticing something different. “Yo, Adam! Where’s Ela?”  
Adam rolled his eyes, obviously worked up on the topic of his absent date. “The woman’s been nagging me all week!” He leaned in closer across the table, glancing at Hazel to make sure she didn’t hear. “I think it’s that time of the month or something.” Leaning back up, he shrugged. “Anyways, I asked and told me to fuck off. So I fucked off.”  
“And what’s your excuse for not bringing anyone, Brennan?” Hazel chimed in, leaning across the table to make sure she heard.   
Brennan shrugged with a small smile. “I asked someone but they declined.” He kept his eyes on Hazel while his words seemed to drift to Mickey, right next to her. Mickey turned to Ian, who was giving that telltale sign that he knew exactly what Brennan was referring to.  
But, again, Hazel hadn’t noticed. “Well, trust me, dude. There’s someone for everyone.” She took his hand and turned to Ian. “Is that your natural hair color?”  
Ian laughed. “I’ve never died it before a day in my life.”  
“How’d you two meet?” Brennan interjected. Hazel patted his hand. “I was about to ask him that, asshat.” But she turned back to Ian with expecting eyes. “I mean, just giving Mickey’s past….and you don’t seem like the type to…well, hey, I can’t really judge. My son…” she trailed off and waved off her statement.  
“We’ve been friends since we were kids, actually.” Mickey’s heart dropped a peg when he heard Ian’s common use of the term ‘friend’ as if it was nothing. He knew wasn’t nothing, but still. “Yeah, we were from the same neighborhood and went to the same school and all that. I even dated his sister for a few years.”  
Mickey kept his eyes down on Ian’s arms, not wanting to make eye contact with Brennan, though he really wanted to see his response. Ian was on that, while he answered, he looked to both people questioning him, and found that both had the same complacent expression.  
“So, is this what a bromance is? My daughter always refers to brotp’s and bromances and…is that when two guys are like best friends?”  
Mickey smirked with hard lips. In the past ten years, he never thought of that part, not really. Ian was his best friend. “He’s my best friend,” Mickey confirmed, elbowing Ian’s arm.  
“Did your bro bring you here because of girl problems?” Adam joined. He’d taken a shot from the waitress and slid one to everyone at the table. “Because, fuck, man. I get it. Those annoying, moody-“  
“Loveable,” Hazel interrupted snatching up her shot and glaring at Adam.  
“Bitches,” he mumbled; it was unclear if it was directed to Hazel particularly or women in general.  
Mickey downed his shot, enjoying the burn that filled his still heavy stomach. But things were going well so far, but he couldn’t help a thought in the back of his mind: wasn’t there something missing?  
“Wait,” Hazel waves towards Mickey and Ian. “I’m not done. I don’t wanna sound like a mother, but, unfortunately, I am one, and he’s never brought anyone around before; it’s kinda cool.” She ends with a small squeal and Ian wonders how old she is exactly and how she can be so happy with a daughter and a son, it seems, not to mention 9 guys, to supervise. “So, Mr. Ian, what is it that you do with yourself?” She turned to the waitress to order her drink and the others did the same. Once the waitress had drifted off, she turned back and rested her chin on her palm.  
“I’m a gym teacher and ROTC advisor at Lane Tech College Prep.”  
Hazel’s eyes bugged at his answer. “Shut up! You’re an army dude? I was in the Air Force for 5 years in the early 80’s. Enlisted right after highschool.” She stated with pride then laugh. “My daughter goes to one of the schools in your network. It’s Downtown. I would’ve thought you were a trainer or something.”  
Ian shrugged. Training would have been another option. “So you’re daughters in high school, then?” It shed some light on how old she might have been.  
“Oh yeah! A junior…”  
Mickey smiled while their drinks came around. Ian was such a people person, got off well with others. In some aspect, he wondered what he was worrying about. But he was always reminded when he looked to Brennan, who always kept a suspicious eye on them. He could almost see what was happening. Brennan would ask a question that would shed some more understanding on Mickey’s situation, but the answer wouldn’t bring him any closer to some point of realization. Then, it would start all over again with another question. Mickey stayed pretty quiet, watching discreetly as Ian had somehow worked his way into everyone’s attention. And no one seemed to realize. That’s when he realized.  
Isn’t that what he wanted? Wasn’t that Mickey’s reason for inviting him in the first place? To somehow, through his actions, tell everyone he was gay? He soon focused again on his slow heart rate or the quickness of it. He needed to do something, and words weren’t really an option to him at this point. It was two words, but he was a Milkovich: words weren’t much to them; the actions spoke through any level of noise, and it was crystal clear, then. He needed to show, because that’s what he was best at.  
“Hey, Ian!” Hazel called, getting out of her seat to stand next to him. “Take me to dance; my daughter’s got me obsessed with this song. Don’t tell her I told you.”  
Ian gave her smile as he took her hand.  
“Careful, Hazel,” Adam warned. “Your husband’s at work; he’s not dead.”  
She flicked him off with her free hand as she guided Ian to the crowd of people dancing.  
Well, at least it gave Mickey time to think of something while his blood ran fast off some type of adrenaline- or was it fear? He needed another drink.  
He got up this time, walking over to the bar to get himself a beer. Once the bartender handed one over, he turned back in search of his boss and his boyfriend, only to see that Brennan was right beside him. “Hey, what’s up?”  
“Ian seems really cool,” Brennan cut straight to the point.  
“Yeah.” He finally found Ian, with Hazel holding hands and doing some weird twirly moves that made both of them laugh. “He is pretty cool.”  
“And cute.”  
Mickey snapped his eyes to Brennan, for maybe the wrong reason, it seems. He saw his eyes to be calculative rather than ravishing as he expected to find as he stared at Mickey’s red head. Because he knew Gallagher was cute; he was perfect- perfect to Mickey, at least. And there could only be one reason for pointing out his obvious attractiveness.  
Only, there was another reason. Brennan was trying to fish something out of Mickey, whether it be a “Yeah, he is” or a “If you think so”. He was speechless and in search for the right words to say.  
They weren’t necessary. “You guys are cute together,” Brennan added when he got no response from Mickey. “And I can take a hint, Mick. I can. I just wish you would’ve said something before I put my balls on the chopping block, you know?” His words rang true, but Mickey noticed a certain tightness to them, like they were supposed to come out even if he didn’t want them to.  
Mickey still hadn’t said anything as Brennan walked back over to the table. It was emptier; some of the others had taken to dancing.   
That was it, then. He was walking over to Ian and Hazel, his legs moving without his permission for a second time tonight. But this was his body’s way of telling him that he should do this whether it was scared or not.   
The song had stopped for a few seconds once he’d met them. Hazel smiled brightly as usual. “Mind if I cut in?” Mickey asked to Hazel, keeping his eyes on her so she didn’t mistake his question to be directed towards Ian. She nodded, confused, and waved to Ian while walking back to the table.   
Mickey grabbed Ian’s hand, his heart pumping louder than before- how the fuck was that even possible- and entwined their fingers, pulling Ian close to him as the next started up.   
“What are you doing?” Ian asked, his lips close to Mickey’s ear to make sure he heard.  
“Telling everyone I’m gay,” Mickey replied, making sure that only Ian could hear.   
“And exactly how are you gonna do that?”  
Mickey freed one of his hands to grab the back of Ian’s neck, keeping him close. Without breaking a step or even hesitating a bit, he moved his head and locked their lips together. Ian clasped Mickey’s waist to pull him in closer, opening his mouth to meet Mickey’s tongue.  
That was the first time that night where everything was back to normal, he couldn’t feel his heart ready to jump out of his chest, his stomach laid as it should, he couldn’t feel his blood running through his vein, and under Ian’s grasp, he felt completely warm –whole and warm.  
Ian pulled away to catch his breath and they rested their foreheads together. He gave a breathy laugh. “I’m proud of you, you know that?”  
“Proud of me kissing you?”  
“No, not just that. I’m proud of everything you’ve done, you know? I never told you that. You’ve come a long way and I’m proud of you for it.”  
Mickey could feel his chest swell; just because he wasn’t great with words, it didn’t mean he wasn’t great in understanding them and he knew what words meant to Ian. He could feel the smile forming on his lips once Ian pulled him back in. He jumped a bit when he heard a lot of whooping and hollering from Hazel and the guys at the table. He pulled away to see them looking at him, and Hazel whistled and smiled next to Brennan, who wore a somewhat satisfied smile. They must have seen the first kiss, and he didn’t expect them to not have questions for him; and maybe it was the fact that Ian still held onto him or maybe all this time, his body was telling him how ready he was, but once he saw them and they knew, he laughed. Some changes were good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the people who liked this and the two people who were just like "You better update this shit"  
> I hope it was a good ending :)

**Author's Note:**

> Let's get a few things clear:  
> Brennan is literally my AP Lang teacher( I made him seem a lot more masculine than he actually is)  
> Hazel is based off my mother (her position is her actual one heh)  
> I thought this up because I was just wondering "I wonder what it'd be like if he (Brennan) came out- WOAH how would Mickey react?"  
> Bumf.


End file.
